clueless

oh my freaking god.
will anything ever be simple?

you walk past me twice today.
what did i do when i saw you coming?
raised my voice so that you'd hear i was having an amusing conversation, and the second time stressed out and pretended to be pissed off by the little kids taking about half an hour to get through the doorway.

this just proves to me, that i need someone who's fucked up in my life so i can carry their burdens for them, just like i've done for you more than once. but half of them i'm not even sure were true, i think you played them off me for your own sick happiness. to know that i cared. did it make you feel loved? i hope it did, cause i did love you, you big twat of an idiot. but you're screwing that up more and more everyday that passes by. want me to still care? fix this.


i used to think that i liked complications, i liked having something to think about late at night when i couldn't sleep. but this thing, i'm not so sure i like.

i can't handle this, i want everything to be like it was.
i want my feelings to make themselves known, just simply. so i can understand what's going on.


who knew that me, the girl who knows everything about dealing with awkward situations, would actually be for once, clueless.
it's funny how things change.