explosions, flames and calm,

don't you just hate it when everything you have seems to go up in smoke?
but then theres that lovely feeling when you realise that you haven't lost everything, no.

right now i've lost j, but we always seem to bicker, argue, fall out.
i'm not sure if we'll ever be the same, but i hope we will be.
we've both done wrong, though this time maybe it was my fault for once.
but seeing as i always backed down when it was your fault maybe i won't back down this time.
i'm sorry, forgive me.
i can't help it that you drive me insane sometimes. i know i do the same to you.

h, this isn't fair on you sweetie and i'm sorry.
if you need to choose, choose her. it'll kill me, but if you need to, do it.
you know we always fight, me and j. thats just how we are.
but this will end, maybe me and her won't be friends when it does end, but it will end.
i love you to peices, you're one of my closest friends. you cheer me up so easily when i'm upset or you calm me down when i'm angry, though i do nothing for you really.. why are we friends? it's a blessing though, that's for sure.
you make me laugh and i thank you for being the good friend that you are, promise we'll always be friends? i'll get my mum to make you a sandwich before i come out to see you in ldn. i can't wait.

a, you know i love you. i love you more than anything and i thank you so so so so much for being the coolest ginger alive, and my best friend.
also, thank you for sticking by me. it's wrong to choose sides sometimes, but at least i know you'd choose mine! haha.

l, i'm here for you baby, you know i am. lots of us are and we all love you so much, i hope you know that because it's 100% true.

you.
I LOVE YOU.
so so so much!
you may have noticed i'm avoiding you though.
why?
i'm scared.
worried.
what about school?
we'll see each other every day. twice at the least. for like.. at least 20 minutes.. so thats 40 minutes minimum every day.
and we're not used to that yet, seeing each other that often...
what if i start to feel suffocated? that's what happens to me. i feel like i've got no space, no time away from people. then i start to ignore them and they don't understand why.
oh i'm stupid. paranoid. i'm sorry.
i just feel that if we spend this next week apart, maybe it'll make school a lot easier? i don't know.
i'm just worrying.
worrying.
worrying..
i love you, don't forget that - ever.


Rx

boys like you love me forever,

I had an idea of what I was going to write but when it came down to it.

I forgot.

All I know is that I miss being around you.

I miss you.

Now that I've had the chance to be with you properly,

alone,

it makes the time apart so much harder.

I miss your lips on my skin.

I miss your lips on mine.

I miss your embrace.

 

Will you always love me?

Will you always care?

I know I will.

I knew that right from the start,

Did you?

 

I want you, all of you.

But I'm holding myself back.

Impatience may be a virtue to James McAvoy,

But not to me, no

Not with you.

We've got forever,

there's no need to rush.

 

I love you, always.

Forever.

Eternity is ours for the taking,

Do you want it?

 

new beginning,

I'm cleansing myself of everything,

starting fresh with you in mind.

You're what I've got to look forward to.

My everything.

 

Perfection in human form.

To me, at least.

You've taught me so much in such a short space of time,

Taught me about love.

 

How to love, properly.

Not stupid teenage love that lasts what, five minutes?

 

 

My perfection, mine. This is everything I wished for, but it's not going to end now that I've got my happiness because this isn't a fairytale.

This is real.