magnetic electric,

H; My baby,

doesn't what's going on or who's around us

all I see is you.

 

you have made me believe,

hold me in your arms

'cause i'm falling.

 

I know the fear in me will pass.

 

No matter how I try to hide

you see straight through my disguise,

you know how to fix me.

 

I knew all along, I knew, I knew.

I knew that this was destined.

That we had to happen,

We had to be something.

We simply had to.

I don't care what people say,

I don't care what they think,

I just know that I'm happy with you.

Always.

 

Whenever I leave your side, the smell of your skin lingers on me

And it's irresistible

But makes me miss you more

It's almost like torture being away from you.

I love you, more than most things in this world.

 

 

N; what is it about you? why do you still cross my mind every now and again?

I feel nothing for you, nothing.

You're merely an ex, an awkward sort of best friend.

Awkward only because we were once in love

and we can still remember

those unforgettable rushes of beautiful moments

the laughs

the fights that always ended and do still end the same.

I cry, you punch the wall.

 

We don't seem to change, why?

You fascinate me

Why?

Because I knew the part of you that you daren't show to most

You may not have realised

But you let me into your world.

I saw the reasons behind the way you are

I saw the reasons that I loved you

I saw the reason that I had to leave.

 

You were destined to break me and you did, but I'm strong.

I got back up within days and I showed you that I didn't need you no matter how much you secretly tried to get me back,

No matter how much you needed me. Because I know you did, and still do.

That's why I still stand by you even though it hurts

It hurts to know that we lost what could've been so perfect.

Something that was beyond beautiful.

 

I might lose my mind for a while, but I'll be fine. Have you heard there's this thing that heals and it's called time? Clock can tick away, happy will fall in place, I know, my heart will break and a new me will fill this space. Deep down, I'm calling time on you.

 

We were kisses in the middle of crowds of people, we were childish jokes and endless laughter, we were large phone bills to our parents. I was the secret tears at night, you were the boy filled with regret. I was the one who realised. I was the one who couldn't bring myself to leave straight away. I was naive. Even though it was me you protected, I knew that I protected you too, you needed me too and I think deep down, you still do. So I'll stick by you, even though it means I won't have the chance to recover fully, even though I doubt I ever will. I'll always love you, even if it is in a different way to the way it used to be.

 

 

oopsy daisy,

N you honestly are my best friend even if I don't talk to you enough. I knew you wouldn't let me down and I'm glad.

You know me so well, and I like it that you still do.

I want you in my life, always.

You make me laugh, you cheer me up just by being your stupid self.

Just like you did when we were together.

It's weird how we're pretty much the same as we were, without certain aspects of course.

It's almost creepily weird but I like it.

I don't just want you in my life, I need you.

Be my best friend forever? Keep me sane? Even if you yourself have no sanity?

I love you, and I think it was always this sorta 'best friend love' from the start.

 

 

C, what the fuck is going on?

I've noticed the looks.

I've noticed the way you find any excuse to talk to me.

Don't let it be true.

We're friends.

 

You, there aren't enough words in the English language to describe what you are to me.

Just the way you act around me makes me smile. The chirpy spontaneity of your little "I love you" outbursts – oh it makes me smile.

You are perfect.

We are perfect.

I hope this never ends.

Although sometimes I can't explain things, sometimes I don't want you to understand, it doesn't mean I love you any less, I hope you know that.

I'm yours forever.

I love you – don't forget that, ever.

 

Rx

 

 

bittersweet and its all your fault,

i spoke about how i feel about you today
for the first time in a very very long time,
just to a girl i barely know but i'm glad.

it made me realise why i did what i did - which was supposedly break your heart regardless of the fact that you'd already broken mine a million times before.


you did nothing but lie to me, break me into tiny little peices and expect me to pull myself together and keep on smiling, keep on pretending i was okay with what you were doing to me.
you lied, so many times. why?
did it amuse you to know you were tearing me apart and that i couldn't bear to show it for the fear of seeming young and weak.
well you won't break me again.

you said you'd stop what you were doing.
you told c that you hadn't.
did you realise how much that hurt? for you to tell her of all people? you knew damn well she wanted you.
she only wanted me with you because she preferred us than you and g
i think i'm the only one who saw that.

i was almost willing to give myself up to you y'know, but i'm glad i didn't
you really are not
worth it

nor are you worth my time, my breath or my tears - though the tears are long gone now, i had other people to help me dry them, people who really care.

and then you... and her... i can't even think about it, it makes me sick.
and then you weren't going to tell me?!
i'm glad that k made you tell, you lying peice of..
no. no i won't lower myself to name calling, no matter how much i want to, it seems childish but it seems like a good way to release built up anger but i'll save that til no-ones around and i'm alone with my thoughts.

i'm sorry i never told you about what was happening,
it was my own way of getting back at you, my way of lying, breaking a seemingly not-so-innocent heart and i maybe shouldn't have done it, but i don't care. i'm happy now.

i won't even mention what else you've done to me over the past few months.
you really aren't worth it anymore
but i can't help but be your friend
you seem too vulnerable for me to leave
that childish manner you have still makes me smile
even though i really should just walk away
i can't.


and although i said maybe there's a potential future for us, i lied.
i hope you like the taste of your own bitter game, n.