oi niguero!

yerno
sometimes i hate you
sometimes i really just wanna hit you, hard.
but then v interferes
and no matter how much i hate you

you're f
and somehow, because of v&f we're linked.

sisters, who don't even know anything about each other - not really.

but that doesn't matter




because the devils on our shoulders are best friends and sisters.
you give up on your devil
all the time

but i think you should give her a chance
she's a n
she's special - and i'd know, being the creator of this magnificent family.

people misunderstand them
consider them, fucked up, wild child, sluts.
oh they're so much more.

d'you know what?
i once came close to asking you to change f's name.

because i used to have her
and she wasn't a thing like the f you have now
but then i realised


she's grown up
you helped her do that.



you made her the girl that v loves so dearly.

i'm sorry too, but it hurts that you've given up on her.

lifelines.

best friend. always.

i love you, so much that it sometimes hurts.

you're the girl who understands absolutely everything.

that time that j pissed me off, and even though i said nothing, you knew, you just knew. i could tell right then that you really were my everything, you really were my best friend.

& i knew it'd be forever.

i'm glad i've got you

you, boy, are perfect.

spend forever with me please? it'd be lovely.

when we're apart i miss you like crazy, i long to be back in your arms.

with you, i feel safe and protected - like nothing in the world could ever hurt me, could ever get its hands on me. because you've got me.

i've loved you since day one.

and i always will.

the caption above is true.

you are absolutely brilliant and i love you to bits.

i can talk to you about everything, it's like having a big sister.

i honestly don't know what i'd do if i didn't have you, who would i talk to about my typical teenage worries? you girl, are like a saint.

i'm gonna tell people

"my auntie han's cooler than you!"

you three, are my everything.

and i love you.

broken doll

i'm having the worst night of my life.
first, i miss a and although i've gathered she's staying at her sisters, and she seemed to be having a good time which i'm so glad about, i need her.
i need h
i need ah

i need my three lifelines.

i worry so much about my mum
she smokes
and just now she's downstairs, maybe still on the floor - i don't know
and she's drunk
real drunk
she refuses to go to bed
my dads down there with her
she won't stop crying
and says nothings wrong.

my dad came upstairs about an hour ago when i was trying to sleep
told me to come downstairs cause my mum was upset
i asked why and he said "she thinks you're under attack"
yeah, im confused too.

she tried to tell me something while i was down there
for a second i thought maybe she knew
maybe she knew what i've done
then she told me to tell them
them being my dad and his friend who were sat at the table.

i've never seen her this bad
she even fell off her chair.
it sounds funny, and it was for a split second.
til i remembered why she fell.

although i will, i never want to touch a drop of alcohol.
or at least, not as much as she has tonight.
i think she worries about me too, but she's got nothing to worry about.
i'm strong, like v


i just wish she'd realise that i worry about her
i wish she'd change.


it's breaking my heart.
& i don't know what to do, she never listens when i tell her to stop smoking, so if i add this to the list of things for her to do, she won't listen either.



my hands are freezing cold,
i'm feeling numb
i don't know how to feel.

things like this seem to make me feel much much older.
for the first time, i had to actually be the one doing the looking after, not the other way around.
while she cried, i saw my dad's face crumple. that broke my heart even more.

what the hell is going on.

first love

its true
that you were my first love
it might have been crazy, immature teenage love, but love nonetheless.

you were my adorable boy
the one that i'd pined over for a while
and done everything to capture

she'd helped me, we'd done the girly age-old thing of planning every single move
every single smile
every single word

every single, tiny, insignificant detail
that you probably didn't even pick up on.

three months seems to be a thing with me.
you, and then the other one - whom i'm still confused by.
but you were the first real one.
my god i was crazy for you
your cute little face
your boyish behaviour
you were still a child
i was too
we were fools
we were younger than young

confused by the emotion that is love
it was beginning to form within our minds
it was awkened slowly

now it flows freely through my every vein
through every single inch

every single tiny isnignificant detail
but do you know that?


do you still care like i seem to?
was i your first love?
even if it was crazy, immature teenage love, but love nonetheless.
crazy, immature teenage love, but love nonetheless.


it's occured to me
that every boy who captures my heart, seems to give it back but keep a tiny peice just to spite me
just to make sure that i always care, just a little.



i do wish we'd never parted
i do wish i was there with you, but this is the life fate has handed me and i'm incredibly happy with it.
please be happy too.
i want us to always stay in touch
i want to talk on the phone with ease like we used to
i think i could avoid the embarrassment of the time i met your mother, oh i can feel myself blushing at it even now.


lets be friends, lets fight the distance.

untouchable

Untouchable like


A distant diamond sky

I'm reaching out

And I just

Can't tell you why

I'm caught up in you

I'm caught up in you



Untouchable burning

Brighter than the sun

And when you're close

I feel like coming undone



In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like

A million little stars

Spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

Come on, come on

Little taste of heaven



It's half full

And I won't wait here

All day

I know you're saying

That you'd be here

Anyway



But you're

Untouchable burning

Brighter than the sun

Now that you're close

I feel like coming undone



In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like

A million little stars

Spelling out your name

You gotta, come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

Come on, come on



Oh

In the middle of the night

We could form this dream

I wanna feel you

By my side

Standing next to me

You gotta, come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

Come on, come on

Little taste of heaven




I'm caught

Up in you




Untouchable burning

Brighter than the sun

And when you're close

I feel like coming undone



In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like

A million little stars

Spelling out your name

You gotta come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

Come on, come on




In the middle of the night

When I'm in this dream

It's like

A million little stars

Spelling out your name

You gotta, come on, come on

Say that we'll be together

Come on, come on

Little taste of heaven.

paper gangsta

don't you just hate it
when people act like utter knobs?

it frustrates me when people act like they're five years old
and act like they're all that and that the sun shines out their arse


news flash: it doesn't.
you need to grow a pair
you need to learn that you have to be nice to people because hurting people isn't acceptable.
my momma used to always tell me "don't do to other people what you wouldn't like to happen to you."
so bscly, do you want to the girl you like to get off with three other people in front of you after you've tried to admit your feelings?
no, i don't think you would.

boys are the most infuriating things on this earth
they're such dicks sometimes

what you need to realise is that she's better than you're ever going to get
she's funny, zany, unpredictable, gorgeous, kind, and she's everything a guy needs.
if you weren't such a twat, you two would be cute.
but now that i've realised what a coward, what an absolute idiot you are: you'll never deserve her.


baby you ain't all that, baby there's no way back.

blushing

I ne'er was struck before that hour,

with love so sudden and so sweet,

his face bloomed like a sweet flower,

and stole my heart away complete.

My face turned pale as deadly pale,

my legs refused to walk away.

My heart has left it's dwelling place,

and can return no more.

-

ever been kidnapped

by a poet?

if i were a poet

i'd kidnap you

put you in phrases and meter

you to jones beach

or maybe coney island

or maybe just to my house

lyric you in lilacs

dash you into the beach

to complement my see

play the lyre for you

ode to you with my love song

anything to win you

wrap you in the red black green

show you off to mama

yeah if i were a poet,

i'd kidnap you.

-

Then you rose into my life

like a promised sunrise.

Brightening my days with light in your eyes.

I've never been so strong.

Now I'm where I belong.

-

Love so alike that none can slacken, none can die.

If ever two were one, then surely we.

he is actually, the funniest guy alive.

and i love him to peices.

i'd rather like it if he was my best friend

i'd even marry him

(if you didn't exsist, h)

n'awh nathan <3

i smile for many reasons

but you are the main one

you are my favourite reason

you're adorable

my alpha-geek

the boy who

for a long time now

has meant everything

absolutely everything

 to me

every single day

i'll wake up and think of you

the one who makes me smile

this one's for you, h.

silent sea

i miss you.
urrh i hate this.


talk to me again?
i've done nothing wrong.
i'm fully over you, i realised that today.




you're such a twat.
but i like setting myself up for heartache.
self-destructive, yup, that's me.



come back, be my besty again.





as for you.
i love you, more than anything. even if you do violently attack me, leaving with me bruises and scractches, you bitch! :)





winds are whipping waves up
like skyscrapers
and the harder they hit me
the less i seem to bruise

tell me why?

seeing the way she looked at me today
made me realise something.
i'm such a hypocrite
surely i hurt her more than that other girl hurt me?

why can't i let go of grudges?
i usually do it so well, but this is one that is really clinging on.

it doesn't even matter any more
because it made sure that i made the best decision of my life...



i should thank her
even if she does regret it.



this is it.
the end for you and me.
no friends, nothing.
you hate me
why?
what did i fucking do this time?
you're so stroppy you know
are you sure you're not a girl?
i never got the chance to check, so i guess maybe there's a chance...

stupid dirty mind. sorry. old habits die hard.

anyway, back to my point.
i wish i could tell you everything you put me through
every night that i spent sat up in bed, wondering what the hell i should do
what i'd have to do to make you love me, properly.
you never loved me, not really.
i know you said you did, but you didn't, don't be stupid.
are you even capable of loving anyone but yourself? i'm not so sure y'know.
you're a child
selfish and wrapped up in a world that isn't even close to reality
you should really grow up
you should really realise what a dick you are
you hurt so many people, without realising.
me for one,


i'm "the only one" you "can trust". fuck that, you liar.
why on earth, do i get the blame for all your little fucked up mood swings
why do i get hurt when its you who's in the wrong.
all you do is lie to me
and it hurts me, so much.
i want you to care about me
like i care about you
i want you to stop messing about and being stupid
i want you to have a better life than you're heading towards right now
i probably sound like your mother, but then again, you don't look after yourself.
you're so stupid!
i hate you.

that's a lie.
i still want you around, i want my best friend back.
where's my spider monkey when i need him to make me smile?
anywhere but with me, being my friend.



tell me why.
what is it now?
i can't do with this much longer,
stop messing me around.




i've been giving out chances, and all you do is let me down.
you're probably thinking we'll be fine again, but not this time around
you don't have to call anymore, i won't pick up the phone
this is the last straw, don't wanna hurt anymore.
and you can tell me that you're sorry but i don't believe you baby
like i did before.
you're looking so innocent, i might believe you if i didn't know...
i could've loved you all my life if you hadn't left me waiting in the cold
and you've got your share of secrets, and i'm tired of being last to know.
and now you're asking me to listen; cuz it's worked each time before.




you used to shine so bright, but i watched all of it fade.

do you want the truth or something beautiful?

i get tired sometimes
everything becomes too much and i break down.
it's been a while since it's happened.
the last time was in may.

and now it's happening again.
i can feel myself slipping
losing touch
falling into a black hole

i have everything i want
but parts of it are cracking
breaking beneath my tender touch

just one tiny bit of pressure and i fear it may all disappear.


it's easy to decieve everyone
i'll carry on as if i'm fine
once the day is through and i'm by myself
everything will let loose
i'll feel those awful feelings that desperately want to tear me apart
not even V helps much these days
her life is too fucked up for her to be my conscience, my reason to carry on.

i can be who you want me to be
but that would mean being someone i'm not.

i don't think many people realise
just how sensitive i can be
just how much every tiny detail gets to me
i like everything to be perfect, and when it's not, i feel uncomfortable and i find it hard to focus on anything but trying to fix the imperfections.
then i get distracted
and frustrate myself even more.


pumpkin, you are everything to me. i'm sorry that you think he's in the way in some ways, but i guess thats just life. no matter how much it hurts, we just gotta learn to compromise with things we don't quite like. i'll never let you go, sisters before misters.