under the sheets,

we're in a mess baby, we're in a mess.

i don't know what, or who the hell you are anymore. you're a stranger and like i've said a million times before i want you out of here, out of my head and out of my life. but you refuse to leave and you seem to do anything you think that i want you to do. you lie to me to make sure that i don't have a bad impression of the person you've become since the day we ended.

while we were talking, i thought about the day i walked out of the door in the house that was "us". i remember you telling me you understood why i did it and knew just how much it had hurt me and how you had hurt me, but you really didn't understand did you? no you really didn't. you thought that maybe one day i'd heal and be ready to welcome you back into my arms like most girls would do eventually.
but i don't think i'm capable of that. you were hard to handle as it was, even more so afterwards. i fought with my head and my heart for hours on end. i didn't know what to do so i ignored it. but then he came along and showed me that i didn't have to ignore it and pretend i was okay, that i was worth more than that.

you didn't love me enough to last a week without me. you were lonely? well how do you think i was feeling. god damnit n you're one stupid boy.

when i left, later that night you texted me, saying "race ya to change fbook relationship statuses!" who in their right mind says something like that? who comes out of a relationship optimistically within two hours of it ending? you're not normal and i don't know what it is about you that's unusual, but i gotta say that that was what i liked about you.

you'd beat up anyone who upset me, you'd let me plait your hair even though people were walking past and looking at you like you were a weirdo, you made me laugh, you were clumsy and fun to be around. you may have been a little bit odd n but i liked you, i liked you a lot.


now? not so much. all the lies and the lack of effort you made to see me sometimes, it wore me down and made me feel older than i really am. it made me be a little bit more mature.
so i thank you for that, for making me a stronger person, but i certainly don't thank you for leaving the tiny little hole in my heart, i'm just glad that it'll eventually heal.

i think you got the best of me, you're sleeping with the enemy, you left me all alone. the beat drops, i'm so low, my heart stops; i already know you left me all alone. i'm sick and tired of the mess you made, baby, you're never gonna catch me cry. you must be blind if you can't see - you'll miss me til the day you die. without me, you're nothing.