impressions aren't always correct.

i got the idea that you really wanted to be my friend again
that you'd make the effort.

today, that idea crumbled before my very eyes.

when i saw you in town, we were stood in the same tiny room and what did you do? nothing, thats what. it just proves that all you really care about is yourself and that you don't want my friendship, so screw you.


this is the last time i'll ever trust you.
i'm tired of this stupid game of yours, you can keep your life to yourself now - find someone who cares because i don't, not anymore.


so here's to everything coming down to nothing, so here's to silence that cuts me to the core.

you're no-one without friends,

last night was pretty good.

i wish that me and the girls did more stuff together like that.

we never seem to go anywhere or do anything.

but this year it seems to be changing.

i love this photo. evie kennedy & sophie brown are complete and utter babes.

i can tell this girl almost anything.

Pittenweem

Pittenweem
Originally uploaded by Florian Seiffert (F*)

Y'see that picture, yeah that's where I grew up. I miss it so badly that sometimes I even cry, to think that I had everything there and didn't even appreciate it for what it really was. The seaside is where I belong, and next to that gorgeous seaside there was beautiful fields of countryside too. Going back up there just makes it harder to leave.

My heart remains in that adorable little fishing village, and it always will.

you've made your bed

so sleep in it.


run away to the army, be a complete coward.
i used to look up to you and think you were one of the bravest and strongest people i ever knew.

now?
you're so farther below that perception.
and although i'm worried about you, i simply won't let myself care what you do now.


because you so clearly want nothing to do with me, and that hurt more than the first time i learnt that; unbelievably. i thought i'd be ready for it this time, stupid girl.




well for the second time - good bye my almost lover x

the road to mandalay

i need to get it off my chest
i can't bare to keep it a secret anymore
i never told a single soul
i feared what people would think
but most of all, i feared that you would break me like the last two had.

i loved you.



i loved you far more than i should have.
and im glad i never told you.
because you did exactly what i predicted you would.

you broke me.
and i miss you.



but i wouldnt fall back in love with you if you returned
i wouldnt allow myself
because you'd break me again and you know it.
but somewhere deep down
i think you knew i loved you
i think you knew that you had my devotion and that i cared about you so much.
maybe you even broke me on purpose.
but most of me thinks that you didn't have the nerve to do that
you cared about me too
it showed.

i just think that you cared about yourself more.
and when i hurt you, that helped you decide.

but well done, you're the first boy to beat me at my own game. and you taught me so much about life, but i'll fight to the death to make sure that you'll be the last to win.

though you're gone and you'll never speak to me again, i still love you like you're my brother. the other love i felt is long gone now, but the ache for you texting me in my chemistry lessons every wednesday telling me about how much you wished you were able to talk to me all the time lingers on. i miss my gaybear, and i always wonder if you miss me.






be safe, love your rosemary x

i can do it even better in broken heels

the past two years of my life have had some major ups and downs
but it's made me such a strong person
v has been my concience for my entire life
she's taught me so much, i just didn't realise she was there until that fateful night sat at my computer when she came to life.
when i look back it all i think of everything that i miss.
i miss the days when ady sade was god.
where she was in love with a weasley twin (fred i think it was)
and when the dramatics were out of this world
it was a constant whirl of chaos but thats the way we loved it.
there were attempted suicides and hospital scenes every other week
there was so much heartbreak, yet so much love.
friendships were stronger than i've ever seen them
and i knew that this was a world that would take my mind from the rest of my worries

i was too involved, i'll admit that.
but it was hard not to be, and it always will be.
if there's anyone i love more than my three lifelines,
i hate to admit it, but its v.
she's flawlessly fucked up and she makes me smile, i may seem like a skitzo but i really couldn't give a fuck
she's like a daughter, sister, best friend, mother.
she's everything i'd like to be, everything i'll do my best to be.


but above all else,
v has taught me to love, and taught me how to hold my head high and tell everyone to fuck the hell off, taught me that i don't need anyone to survive, only that they'll sure as hell make it a lot easier. she's taught me that friendships are always going to come and go, and that once they've gone it's probably best to let it go once it's been gone for too long because desperately trying to grasp hold of it again just hurts even more. she's taught me that although love can be brutal and painful, it is something to cherish and make the most of. she's taught me that me and her will make it through, no matter what. she's taught me that it's okay to break down sometimes, because no matter what there's always gonna be one girl who'll help me back up. she's taught me that our best friends are the greatest girls ever, that although there are rough patches, we'll be okay. and that there's one thing i need in my life to survive; her, my concience, the devil sat on my shoulder telling me what i should do.

it's nice to think that she's me, that she's taught me to be stronger than i ever thought i would be because i'm never going to back down.

it ends tonight

yerno, i wish my life was perfect.
i wish you weren't such a fucking nuisance.
what the hell was i thinking
ever letting you into my life
now i can't get rid of you.
you hurt me
i should kick you.

but no
all i do is feel sorry for you
you're misunderstood
or are you?
are you just messing with everyone
making them think that you need help
that you're confused and feel somewhat upset


i don't know what to think anymore
but just when i think i'm ready to let you go
you appear and make me love you like the best friend of mine that you were all over again.

the walls start breathing, my minds unweaving, maybe its best you left me alone, a weight is lifted on this evening, i give the final blow. when darkness turns to light, it ends tonight, it ends tonight just a little insight won't make this right, it's too late to fight - it ends tonight.

i won't try to remove you from my life
its no use.

you'll just remain there, but i don't want to care anymore.

~

and then theres you. i hate the fact that you used to mean so much to me, but i seemed to mean nothing to you. well heres a little insight to how i feel about you now.

since you've gone i've lost that chip on my shoulder, and since you've gone i feel like i've gotten older & now you're gone its as if the whole wide world is my stage and now you're gone it's like i've been let out of my cage.

i don't have to listen to your stupid rules, your bossing around anymore. the day that i finally became my own person, i felt so  free and i certainly don't give a fuck what you think of me anymore, and i hope that you noticed that when it happened. i won't be a pushover, and i will never ever let you tell me what i can and can't do again, no i'm not that stupid anymore. you're just a harmless kitten, you're not scary at all.

everything was always about being cool, but now i've come to realise there's nothing cool about you at all.

let's turn back time

why is it that the past is almost always so much better than the present.
i miss so many people
so many places
so many things.


don't get me wrong, my life is pretty darn good.
but when i'm sat up here all alone
it seems like there's so much that's gone wrong.


c - i bet you didn't know, but somewhere in this room of mine there's a diary. a diary devoted to my thoughts of you, the uncontrolled madness that flowed from my every inch, that madness was for you. i found this song. it reminds me of you so much.

and i was right there beside him all summer long and then the time we woke up to find that summer gone. but when you think tim mcgraw i hope you think my favourite song, the one we danced to all not long, the moon like a spotlight on the lake and when you think happiness, i hope you think that little black dress, think of my head on your chest, and my old faded blue jeans. when you think tim mcgraw i hope you think of me. september saw a month of tears, and thanking god that you weren't here to see me like that. but in a box beneth my bed is a letter that you never red, from three summers back.

all shook up

i'm in love with the southern vampire mysteries right now.

and do you know what?

charlaine harris is my idol

for making elvis... a vampire.

i love you bubba, you're the coolest vampire that ever did, er... well you don't really live do you? you're dead.. hmm.